Granny Mel

Being an auntie has always been at the top of my favorite titles on my relationship resume. I was an auntie before I was a mom, and there is nothing I love more than being admired by my nieces and nephews, whether it's because they love my shoes or because I planned a cousins sleepover (like the Butterfield 1st Annual Auntie Mel Cousin Sleepover and Pancake Breakfast seen here this summer)

From Little Miss

Or because I thrive on chaos - like when it feels like they're all monkeys in the tree

From Little Miss

But I was a bit worried when Little Miss made her grand entrance to the world 5 years ago.

From Little Miss

Months before her birth I was so excited to be her auntie, because it was the first (and only) time my sister and I were pregnant together, and we were both having little girls to boot. But as it turned out, when Little Miss joined our family just two weeks after Ainslee left, I was so worried that I would fall short in my love for her. I was worried that her very existence would be a painful reminder of what had been stolen by death from my clenched fists. I feared my relationship with my sister would never be the same, that she would feel ridiculously misplaced guilt by having such a blessing (I hope she never did!) and that I would feel a knife in my heart by acknowledging her joy.

But as President Kennedy said, "we have nothing to fear, but fear itself". Though only motivated by sheer devotion to my sister, I called her the day Little Miss was born, knowing I would be hearing newborn little gurgles and cries in the background, and willing myself with all the grit and determination I could muster not to cry and make her sad on such a wonderful day. I knew as soon as I did that I still had auntie status.

From Little Miss

I had completely underestimated the power of love. A power greater than self-pity, than fear, and than despair. A power to celebrate the goodness of life smiling on someone else when life has dealt you a terrible blow. A power that did not come from me, but worked a miracle in my heart.

Little Miss has been nothing but a joy in my life, and though sometimes I get a little homesick for my own sweet girl, I am never sad in her presence. She is one of my most adoring fans, and I have to say, the feeling is mutual.

From Little Miss

So, when I heard her disappointment that her mom would be substituting for faraway grandmas on Grandparents Day at Kindergarten, I knew it should be me, I would have moved heaven and earth to be there. What I didn't know, was that the reason I was an acceptable substitute in her eyes was that, unlike her mother, I apparently "look old enough" to play the part (them are fightin words Little Miss!).

From Little Miss

With my pride swallowed, as hip an outfit as I could fish out of the closet, and as much anti-aging cream as I could pile on that day to prove my youth, I was there. And though I didn't need one, the look on her face was reward worthy of moving heaven and earth. And she was left with a lipstick kiss to remind her that "Auntie, or Granny, Mel loves you!"

From Little Miss

Copy Cat

In the crazed weekend before the big bad Yellow Daisy Festival, I took a few moments to quiet the humming of the sewing machine, sweep up some of the thread that had scattered like confetti all over the house and spend some time throwing a party for my family celebrating the milestone of the beginning of a new school year.

From back to school

From back to school

Usually, we have small fanfare - a new outfit, pictures and a homemade bag for the girls from fabric they selected. We pretend for the week before that we are getting onto the "school sleeping schedule" but none of us can part with the laziness of a summer morning where we are not expected anywhere but the pool, and even there we don't have to look presentable. We try to go to bed early, but we can't fathom letting a beautiful summer evening go by with out a bike ride or a dance in the family room.

And so, the first week of school, when we are left without a choice, we live on adrenaline for 2 days and then we get grumpy - by Thursday we are all melting down at 4 pm and by Friday the coping skills have disappeared as quickly as the flicker of the fireflies we chased in June.

This year, we added, because I totally copied Nie's idea, a Back to School Feast. When I told the children what we were doing, they wanted to know who was coming (apparently I haven't made them feel important enough on their own for having prepared a feast). I got excited as I baked a special cake and decorated the dining room, scattering smarties as much for the subliminal message as for their cool retro colors.

From back to school

Given our sense of humor, we had to incorporate a bit of it into the family theme - WALK OR FALL - based on a story we heard on NPR of a boy with polio whose dad doesn't baby him but inspires him to learn to walk. We made goals - someone's going to learn to read, someone's going to eat 3 vegetables every day, someone else is going to "not be smug" (bet you can't guess who!), someone else is going to work on prayer and someone else is going to do her "middle split" (definitely NOT me!!). We feasted on fondue and before we dug into the smarties cake, made wishes and blew out candles - one for every grade we enter this year.

From back to school

From back to school

And when the anxiety parted, and school began, here is what we found:

Kennedy is disappointed the new bus driver doesn't have a 5th grade section, I am disappointed we don't have the old bus driver

Ellie again has a class full of friends - I don't think there's a soul in that school she doesn't consider a friend, including the school nurse, who called right on schedule the first week

From back to school

Stevie came home with his name written by him on a paper. Since I spent a year trying to coerce him to just write an "S" I was a little surprised, so I asked how he knew how to write his name. He said, "it was on a box, so I just copied it". Oh, why hadn't I thought of that??

Wally loves his Joy School, we'll see how much JOY I'm feeling next week when it's my turn to host

And I redeemed myself from Loser Mother of the Year after the last day of school when I picked up the girls late with no fanfare and only the promise of a trip to the laundromat. The first day of school I met the bus with squirt guns and a trip to Breuster's for ice cream. So there!!!

From back to school

Nie Nie Day

It's amazing what the internet can do - help loved ones keep up on your life from afar, bring back blasts from the past, and expose you to everyday people you would love to call friends. Sometimes I worry that such a cyber-life can actually be bad for you socially with your real friends. Other times, like now, I am grateful for the way technology can bring you closer to the best of what people have to offer.

Sunday, when I returned from vacation and read of Stephanie from Nie Nie Dialogues and her literal fight for life and all she loves I was heartbroken and touched. I have read her sister's writing for Segullah and her personal blog, but I don't actually know these people.

Yet I feel some connection to the story - maybe it's the number of children - mine are the same genders just a couple years ahead of hers; the pursuit of all things retro and beautiful; the burns; or the unbelievably divine love her sisters (I'm always a sucker for a good sister story!!), friends and family are showering her with. Maybe it's that I love her blog and want to copy 1,000 ideas from it (we are scheduling our own back to school feast for this weekend). I don't know why my heart aches for a total random stranger, but I do know it's good for me.

So, I am participating in Nie Nie Day, a day her friends and fellow blogging sisters have all set up auctions to donate money to her recovery (see Design Mom). 2SiS will be at the Yellow Daisy Festival next weekend premiering our adorable new pleated bag:

I am not one for pushing my product on my friends, so I invite you all to go do some early Christmas shopping following this link. As for me, the first bag at Yellow Daisy goes to Nie.

Godspeed Nielson family. My life and family are better for knowing you (even though it's only cyber-ly).

Our last "Hurrah"

School starts way too early here - summer should not end one second before Labor Day, maybe even Halloween. Except preschool - I could really get behind year round preschool.

So, the weekend before the weekend before school started, we joined Randy at a conference on Hilton Head Island for one last moment.

One last romp on the beach by the boys:


One last splash in the waves - for Stevie and Wally on their "skate"boards


(someone mentioned after watching him - "he's not really afraid of anything, is he?"

One last meager attempt to obey the law, even though we SO wanted to take some sanddollars home:


One last sunset over the ocean:


One last run of my fingers through his sun-kissed curly locks:

(okay, not really my last since I'm still not ready to chop them - is there therapy for that?)

One last sunglasses and hat disguise for me - now I'll actually have to do my hair and makeup :)


But hopefully not the last frolic with Dad:


or not the last friend-making without mom and dad's help or prodding - actually a first for us on vacation!


and, most definitely not the last hand-holding of sisters and brothers:


Good-bye summer, though it's not the last you'll see of us!

Very Personal

. . . well only kind of personal, but still fun :)



Jan sent me this survey, I thought I would share the results (they are from yesterday). If you are reading this, consider yourself duly tagged!!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? yes - hippy '70s singer Melanie (you're hearing her now)

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Monday night

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? yes if I try

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? swiss cheese (sorry I love a veggie sandwich)

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 3 girls, 2 boys

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? love it!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS no

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? not without xanex!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? kashi go lean

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? strong willed, strong legs, weak arms!

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? chocolate with caramel on top

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? their hair

15. RED OR PINK? pink

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my insecurity

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my newborns

18. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my compassion and sense of humor

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? What? In summer?? No shoes. - great answer! ditto

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Doritos & fountain Diet Coke

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? stevie begging me to paint (not a chance)

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? orange

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? new baby smothered in baby magic wrapped in clothes washed with ivory snow and downey

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? mom

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? love her

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? my daughters play softball

27. HAIR COLOR? dark brown

28. EYE COLOR? green

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No

30. FAVORITE FOOD? cheese

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? dark knight (batman) - Randy made me and I loved it!

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? off-white

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? homemade brownie

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Heather

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND Randy (enough said)

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? On Chesil Beach - Holly made me and it's SO good!!

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Don't have one.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? jon stewart.

42. FAVORITE SOUND? thundering ocean

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Sting :)

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME??? france, except it felt like home, so maybe - Piedmont Hospital on Christmas Day

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I do something best the first time, and it progressively gets worse with practice unless I practice so hard that I master it (which happens very infreqeuntly!!)

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? L.A.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? All!

Hitting the Slopes

There are only two cities I can say I love year round. One is Paris, though I've only been there in the summer, I'd go anytime (yes, Randy, that IS a challenge!!) The other is a place I can actually speak to with some experience, and every time I drive to Utah I just want to stop - Park City.

In the winter the snow is breathtaking and the mountain all dressed up in her coat of white velvet beckons you to her. In the summer, she sheds the coat for her naked beauty, and accessorized with just a hint of wild flower and greenery, her slopes are still irresistable.

We visit her like a great aunt every trip - we only stop for a short time, we don't actually know that much about her and what she has to offer, but we settle in and enjoy the familiar. And like a child who is offered a piece of candy from the hard candy dish, we usually just choose a safe butterscotch or strawberry with the chewy inside - we do the alpine slide in the summer and tubing in the winter (apparently I am always wearing sunglasses and a hat), but once in a while we venture out and try the red one with the swirls that look like a ribbon.

Last summer we were treated to a girls night out with Auntie Heather, and the outdoor hot tubs were a hit!! This summer, along with the slide and coaster, we visited Olympic Park to watch a ski jump show. The boys loved sitting in the bobsled in the museum and I couldn't get enough of sitting outside soaking up the sun and breathing and smelling the arid mountain air.

And, like when I was a child and would go with Grandma to see Aunt Loene, I loved her little old brick bungalow with the giant bathtub and tree-lined street and pictured myself living there, I could say the same for Park City. But chances of it happening are about the same as they would have been for moving in with Aunt Loene.

reality check

We arrived home from summer "vacation" (I don't think it technically counts as a vacation since I bring my work in the form of 4 kids with me) nearly a week ago and this morning my mom returned home (she was trying not to look too relieved about that), so I am left contemplating real life and how I can best avoid it.

Off topic, I just had to take a picture of Great White since I felt like a clone of Randy when I packed it and it looked "packed" not thrown together and stuffed to the gills - hmmm, maybe that's a metaphor for my reality. . . Even more off topic, note the John Edwards bumper stickers - they are a symbol of my journey out of adolescence and I can't part with them until he kicks Karl Rove to the curb in his upcoming September debate, and until Obama picks a running mate, but I digress. . .

We have a tradition for road trips in our family of a "reality check" which stems back from college debate trips. When the driver of the big van would get sleepy, no matter how many other people were legitimately asleep in the van, all the windows would be rolled down while some loud obnoxious song is cranked (the one you hear now is what we used this summer). When all passengers were in check with reality, the windows would be rolled up and the radio returned to its normal volume.

Since it's almost lunch time here and we are still eating the groceries bought by Randy the bachelor, I have a feeling I am due for a reality check, home-style. Maybe I'll go find reality before she finds me and I'll get to define her myself. Maybe she'll look more like my car on our trip home - everything with a designated place, easy to find, full but not stuffed. Likely not, but hopefully at least I'll keep my hair from flying out the windows. You'll know I succeeded when I have posted vacation pics. Check mate.