I live for Halloween.
While I get into the pumpkins and the scary stuff, it's really the costumes I adore. Originally, people dressed like ghosts and ghouls in an effort to make themselves less appealing for the evil spirits to possess the next year. I would say we've moved from that to some sort of version of Straight Pride, where women are expected to be a sexy whatever their costume is (sexy cavewoman or sexy nurse or sexy schoolgirl). But neither of those is really at the heart of Halloween for me.
Halloween for me is about the thrill of becoming someone and expressing something that is well beyond my everyday. I love sharing that with my children and watching it in others. Even if that "something" is just funny or outrageous.
This year, I decided to be someone I've been admiring for years - Tina Turner. She made a huge comeback in the '80's when I should have loved her, but I didn't learn to appreciate Tina until I was an adult. Not until I heard Brittney and Mylie and the other junk passed along as music to my children could I hear the soul in Tina's singing, not until I became a suburban mother could I see the sassy in dancing in your late sixties. And not until my own body morphed into a conglomeration of post-5 pregnancy meets yo-yo diet meets half-marathon meets chocoholic could I see the perfection in a pair of nice legs like Tina's.
The great part about Halloween is you don't have to actually be that person in real life, you just get to want to be them for a night, and only the parts of them you imagine. It's like a vacation for your personality. You don't have to want to live in New York City (although I do), you just have to want to visit it to have a good time there. You don't have to experience all the nitty-gritty details of living there, you can just visit the parts you like. (Which is why I let my daughter dress up like Marilyn Monroe one year and Lady Gaga another)
And visiting a moment as imaginary Tina Turner was a thrill. With my hair cut (shout out to Cheryl!!), my fishnet stockings, my tight pleather knee-pants and my pumps, I was transformed. I was having such fun I didn't want it to end when the clock struck 8 and trick or treating was over. My friends said they never saw someone enjoy a costume like I did.
At the end of Halloween, when I just became me again, I took a bit of Tina with me like a souvenir. I kept an appreciation for the perfection of my body the way it is right now and a renewed desire to live my own joy regardless of my age. And I kept a bit of the sassy.
Maybe it's because I'm uncertain of I want to become the other 364 days of the year that Halloween gives me such joy, or maybe it's because I'm scared that what I want to become might be too outrageous. Either way, every year after I take this trip to Halloween, I say it was the best!
(Oh, and I hope he keeps the live long and prosper for his souvenir)
Update: I wore this costume and wrote this post before I understood the problematic nature of my costume. I now see that though my intent was to idolize the musician, my methods contributed to white supremacy. I have removed the photos, but do not want to erase the mistake. I made it and I'm sorry.
