Quik Trip

I have cultivated a love for going to the gas station in my children. I'm not sure if it's to prevent them from becoming like me - I literally hate getting gas, maybe out of some backwards wish that I should be showered in chivalry so my delicate hands would n'er touch the greasy dirty nozzle or my dainty lungs should n'er breathe the fumes or because the total I spend every trip could buy an outfit, completely accessorized, but there is hardly a chore I detest as much as getting gas. And now that it takes driving for one hour to find a station with gas and waiting in line almost that long to get it (but rest assured, our governor told us we do not have a supply problem), it's a serious bummer.

From Nashville

But the kids, they'll go anyday. The words "Quik Trip" make them salivate like Pavlov's dogs. Quik Trip has given them the independence that modern era helicopter parenting has snatched from kids. While I feed Great White her stinky expensive formula, they (minus Wally) get to go in the store and pick out a treat (penny, or nickel and dime candy as the case may be for them, and fountain Diet Coke with crushed ice for me), take it to the counter and buy it. The sense of accomplishment they feel far outweighs the nature of the task, but it's really a win-win for all involved.

From Nashville

Now we have added yet another connotation to the term, since we have had our family's shortest vacation ever - a Quik Trip to Nashville.

We still have several good friends in our former city, and two families have added babies this past year. We have stayed clear, not wanting to impose such a rowdy brood with all the burden of having guests upon them. So, we considered going for the baby blessing of the last one, but it fell on a crazy weekend for us. Then, all of a sudden the stars aligned and I remembered how much I regret not making my annual pilgrimage to Washington this summer to see a friend, and we decided if we had to wait for an uncrazy time, we would never go, so we would take the time we had and make it happen.

From Nashville

And that time was 24 hours (and only that long due to the generosity of my sister who offered to work our show by herself for a day)

When we arrived Saturday evening, it was like coming home. Though we hadn't seen these friends in 2 years, it was like putting on your favorite pair of jeans - you just know how they're going to feel even before you slide them up, and they fit snug and groovy showing off the best of your assets without magnifying the size of your trunk.

From Nashville

Oh how I miss my Nashville girlfriends. They make me laugh, inspire me in dressing myself and my nest, stay up with me to talk til the wee morning hours despite having babies to wake them earlier than me. They feed the hollow part of my soul like only a girlfriend can. I love them like sisters. I love their kids like an auntie. I will never let two years pass again, with them or my other girlfriends.

From Nashville

So, now if I mention Quik Trip, I salivate for more than a fountain diet coke. Now I know a quick trip can mean:

24 hours of "catch up"
1,440 minutes of reminiscing
86,400 seconds of gratitude for friends and the sweetness they add to my life

From Nashville

I must give a shout out to the guys - Randy singlehandedly packed us up while pulling chauffeur duty to the softball game and moving someone (and he's one serious catch in his orange tie, don't you think?), Christopher took the pics as I forgot my camera, and Shane made me cry during the blessing on the food

From Nashville

Granny Mel

Being an auntie has always been at the top of my favorite titles on my relationship resume. I was an auntie before I was a mom, and there is nothing I love more than being admired by my nieces and nephews, whether it's because they love my shoes or because I planned a cousins sleepover (like the Butterfield 1st Annual Auntie Mel Cousin Sleepover and Pancake Breakfast seen here this summer)

From Little Miss

Or because I thrive on chaos - like when it feels like they're all monkeys in the tree

From Little Miss

But I was a bit worried when Little Miss made her grand entrance to the world 5 years ago.

From Little Miss

Months before her birth I was so excited to be her auntie, because it was the first (and only) time my sister and I were pregnant together, and we were both having little girls to boot. But as it turned out, when Little Miss joined our family just two weeks after Ainslee left, I was so worried that I would fall short in my love for her. I was worried that her very existence would be a painful reminder of what had been stolen by death from my clenched fists. I feared my relationship with my sister would never be the same, that she would feel ridiculously misplaced guilt by having such a blessing (I hope she never did!) and that I would feel a knife in my heart by acknowledging her joy.

But as President Kennedy said, "we have nothing to fear, but fear itself". Though only motivated by sheer devotion to my sister, I called her the day Little Miss was born, knowing I would be hearing newborn little gurgles and cries in the background, and willing myself with all the grit and determination I could muster not to cry and make her sad on such a wonderful day. I knew as soon as I did that I still had auntie status.

From Little Miss

I had completely underestimated the power of love. A power greater than self-pity, than fear, and than despair. A power to celebrate the goodness of life smiling on someone else when life has dealt you a terrible blow. A power that did not come from me, but worked a miracle in my heart.

Little Miss has been nothing but a joy in my life, and though sometimes I get a little homesick for my own sweet girl, I am never sad in her presence. She is one of my most adoring fans, and I have to say, the feeling is mutual.

From Little Miss

So, when I heard her disappointment that her mom would be substituting for faraway grandmas on Grandparents Day at Kindergarten, I knew it should be me, I would have moved heaven and earth to be there. What I didn't know, was that the reason I was an acceptable substitute in her eyes was that, unlike her mother, I apparently "look old enough" to play the part (them are fightin words Little Miss!).

From Little Miss

With my pride swallowed, as hip an outfit as I could fish out of the closet, and as much anti-aging cream as I could pile on that day to prove my youth, I was there. And though I didn't need one, the look on her face was reward worthy of moving heaven and earth. And she was left with a lipstick kiss to remind her that "Auntie, or Granny, Mel loves you!"

From Little Miss

Copy Cat

In the crazed weekend before the big bad Yellow Daisy Festival, I took a few moments to quiet the humming of the sewing machine, sweep up some of the thread that had scattered like confetti all over the house and spend some time throwing a party for my family celebrating the milestone of the beginning of a new school year.

From back to school

From back to school

Usually, we have small fanfare - a new outfit, pictures and a homemade bag for the girls from fabric they selected. We pretend for the week before that we are getting onto the "school sleeping schedule" but none of us can part with the laziness of a summer morning where we are not expected anywhere but the pool, and even there we don't have to look presentable. We try to go to bed early, but we can't fathom letting a beautiful summer evening go by with out a bike ride or a dance in the family room.

And so, the first week of school, when we are left without a choice, we live on adrenaline for 2 days and then we get grumpy - by Thursday we are all melting down at 4 pm and by Friday the coping skills have disappeared as quickly as the flicker of the fireflies we chased in June.

This year, we added, because I totally copied Nie's idea, a Back to School Feast. When I told the children what we were doing, they wanted to know who was coming (apparently I haven't made them feel important enough on their own for having prepared a feast). I got excited as I baked a special cake and decorated the dining room, scattering smarties as much for the subliminal message as for their cool retro colors.

From back to school

Given our sense of humor, we had to incorporate a bit of it into the family theme - WALK OR FALL - based on a story we heard on NPR of a boy with polio whose dad doesn't baby him but inspires him to learn to walk. We made goals - someone's going to learn to read, someone's going to eat 3 vegetables every day, someone else is going to "not be smug" (bet you can't guess who!), someone else is going to work on prayer and someone else is going to do her "middle split" (definitely NOT me!!). We feasted on fondue and before we dug into the smarties cake, made wishes and blew out candles - one for every grade we enter this year.

From back to school

From back to school

And when the anxiety parted, and school began, here is what we found:

Kennedy is disappointed the new bus driver doesn't have a 5th grade section, I am disappointed we don't have the old bus driver

Ellie again has a class full of friends - I don't think there's a soul in that school she doesn't consider a friend, including the school nurse, who called right on schedule the first week

From back to school

Stevie came home with his name written by him on a paper. Since I spent a year trying to coerce him to just write an "S" I was a little surprised, so I asked how he knew how to write his name. He said, "it was on a box, so I just copied it". Oh, why hadn't I thought of that??

Wally loves his Joy School, we'll see how much JOY I'm feeling next week when it's my turn to host

And I redeemed myself from Loser Mother of the Year after the last day of school when I picked up the girls late with no fanfare and only the promise of a trip to the laundromat. The first day of school I met the bus with squirt guns and a trip to Breuster's for ice cream. So there!!!

From back to school