Granny Mel

Being an auntie has always been at the top of my favorite titles on my relationship resume. I was an auntie before I was a mom, and there is nothing I love more than being admired by my nieces and nephews, whether it's because they love my shoes or because I planned a cousins sleepover (like the Butterfield 1st Annual Auntie Mel Cousin Sleepover and Pancake Breakfast seen here this summer)

From Little Miss

Or because I thrive on chaos - like when it feels like they're all monkeys in the tree

From Little Miss

But I was a bit worried when Little Miss made her grand entrance to the world 5 years ago.

From Little Miss

Months before her birth I was so excited to be her auntie, because it was the first (and only) time my sister and I were pregnant together, and we were both having little girls to boot. But as it turned out, when Little Miss joined our family just two weeks after Ainslee left, I was so worried that I would fall short in my love for her. I was worried that her very existence would be a painful reminder of what had been stolen by death from my clenched fists. I feared my relationship with my sister would never be the same, that she would feel ridiculously misplaced guilt by having such a blessing (I hope she never did!) and that I would feel a knife in my heart by acknowledging her joy.

But as President Kennedy said, "we have nothing to fear, but fear itself". Though only motivated by sheer devotion to my sister, I called her the day Little Miss was born, knowing I would be hearing newborn little gurgles and cries in the background, and willing myself with all the grit and determination I could muster not to cry and make her sad on such a wonderful day. I knew as soon as I did that I still had auntie status.

From Little Miss

I had completely underestimated the power of love. A power greater than self-pity, than fear, and than despair. A power to celebrate the goodness of life smiling on someone else when life has dealt you a terrible blow. A power that did not come from me, but worked a miracle in my heart.

Little Miss has been nothing but a joy in my life, and though sometimes I get a little homesick for my own sweet girl, I am never sad in her presence. She is one of my most adoring fans, and I have to say, the feeling is mutual.

From Little Miss

So, when I heard her disappointment that her mom would be substituting for faraway grandmas on Grandparents Day at Kindergarten, I knew it should be me, I would have moved heaven and earth to be there. What I didn't know, was that the reason I was an acceptable substitute in her eyes was that, unlike her mother, I apparently "look old enough" to play the part (them are fightin words Little Miss!).

From Little Miss

With my pride swallowed, as hip an outfit as I could fish out of the closet, and as much anti-aging cream as I could pile on that day to prove my youth, I was there. And though I didn't need one, the look on her face was reward worthy of moving heaven and earth. And she was left with a lipstick kiss to remind her that "Auntie, or Granny, Mel loves you!"

From Little Miss