Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Free To Go

She decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language, and the birds fluttered around writing "yes." 

So said the notebook I bought my sister to record her big ideas, crazy dreams, and best moments of her new adventure.  I bought her a bird pen to symbolize the "yes" and the freedom to fly, and gave her this song you're hearing.  And then I loaded her 10 suitcases (well, to be precise, Somebody and Big Miss loaded them- I just admired their handywork) and 4 children into Great White and we were off.  Well, mostly she was off.  Off to see a part of the world I can only dream of, off to eat new foods and meet new people, off around the globe to live in New Zealand for a year.

I have teared up many a time in the last few months - savoring the sewing for Halloween, the shopping for Christmas, the partying for New Year's, knowing it would be our last, at least for a while.  The sorting, packing and planning has been fodder for many laughs and tears.  I have fought the tears while selling the table we spent so much time sewing and laughing and dreaming at, looking at the clock on her stove as I left her house the last time, and telling Big D that I was not going on the airplane with him.

Our time here together has ended with parties and celebrations, cousin sleepovers and breakfast toasts for a wonderful year.
 Who wants ANOTHER poptart?

And tonight I feel a little lonely.  A little left behind.  A little empty.
                                               Happy Cousins         Sad Cousins
And a lot excited.  I am so happy for her I can hardly stand it.  And, thankfully, there is a tinge of excitement for myself as well.  Because she leaves me with fabulous gifts.
Funny faces with Auntie Holly

First, she gifted me a front row seat to watch how the windows of heaven open when you follow your intuition.  She has planned this move in less than 6 months, yet everything seemingly out of her control fell into place (with some serious elbow grease).  I am amazed at how easily she took care of big stuff like finding a renter for her house, selling her husband's business, wrapping up a life here, all of which did not happen until she took the leap of faith to say yes to what sounded like a far-fetched crazy idea to everyone stuck in their normal lives.  And watching this makes me feel silly that there are many times I won't commit until everything is already lined up.  Oh me of little faith.

The second gift I received from Holly is the desperate sadness of knowing my best friend is leaving.  Sadness isn't normally something I consider a gift, but this time it forced me to realize that I don't have to leave the hemisphere to have a great adventure, the only thing trapping me are the limits I put on myself.  No one else is going to tell me "yes", nor should I expect them to.  And so, I am giving myself a book for my own big and crazy ideas, a pen with a bird, and these words from the song I gave her:
Dream, and the way will be clear,
Pray, and the angels will hear,
Leap, and the net will appear,

Right outta nowhere...

You're going somewhere,
and all you need to know,

is that you're free to go!
The last gift is something she gives us all, a way to stay connected and a way to experience New Zealand daily.  She and I will be updating our new blog Drop Zone S2 (named after the spot I left my puddle of tears today at the Atlanta airport) daily with a picture of her day and one of mine.  So join me on my new adventure, and start one of your own.  The only thing we need to know, is that we're free to go!
Drop Zone S2 - waterproof mascara hard at work

1 comment:

Teri said...

Thanks Mel! I am still in denial. Their departure is hitting me in little pieces. I am sure I will hit the wall one of these days. I wish I could go an adventure like that as well! We will be coming to your blog to get our Reynold's fix! Take care!

Love, Teri